Mother's Guilt

We all have it: that feeling which leaves you wishing you could be everywhere and do everything.  Mother’s guilt if probably one of the biggest surprises of motherhood for me.  I expected to feel intense love and I expected my nurturing instincts to kick in.  I never expected the guilt.

I recently experienced an extra dose of guilt the other day.  It was my daughter’s birthday, and I had to leave early to go to work.  I have about a 45 minute drive, and Mother Nature had kicked up some fresh snow.  I knew I had to leave extra early, which gave me approximately 10 minutes to see my sweet birthday girl before she headed off to school with her dad.   There was a part of me that knew she didn't mind, and I knew that my husband was taking her for donuts before school for a special treat.  Logically, nothing was saying I ruined her birthday, but my mother’s guilt was saying “You should have stayed up half the night decorating, you should have woken up at 4:30 so you could have had more time with her, and you shouldn't be working.”

 All of these thoughts rushed through my head all morning, and by the time 1^st hour started I was practically in tears determined to redeem myself.  I knew I had already had a special dinner plan with a few Harry Potter touches, but my guilt said I needed MORE.  I began crafting during any spare minute I could find, and I was pretty impressed with what I accomplished. Check out how her Harry Potter themed dinner turned out here.

In this case, I suppose my mother’s guilt was beneficial.  I was able to give my daughter an extra special night.  She is old enough (8 ahhhh) to understand that her big birthday event is her trip to the American Girl store on Saturday, but I wanted to make sure this day felt special as well.

Do you ever feel mother’s guilt?  I tend to feel it whenever I take time for myself, when they’re sick and for some reason I can’t be there, and when my husband and I go away for more than an evening.  I know it’s good because it means I love them so very much, and value them and time with them above everything else; however I do need to remind myself that taking care of my own needs and my marriage is important to them as well.  We're only human, so we need to remind ourselves that we do have limits, we have needs, we are just one person, and that;s perfectly okay.